Fitness, Goals & Motivation

May 2018 Check-In

FOREWARNING: Lot’s of swearing in this post.

Well, another month has gone and here we are in May.  Not, it’s gonna be May, no, just May.  Any fellow NSYNC fans here?  Quick FYI, Lance Bass’ birthday is this Friday.  Yeah, I still remember his birthday, May the 4th be with you!  And there goes my rocker goth card, haha. 😜🤣  Anyway, that’s not why we are here.  It is time for the May Check-in.  To be honest, one of the worst months yet for me, HOWEVER, a loss is still a loss.  Reiterating that to myself here, a loss is still a loss.  Am I a bit disappointed?  Well yeah.  A couple of days ago I was really getting down about it, time of the month, but now back to normal spirits.


In March I wasn’t really working out, so with all the laziness in March rolling into working out regularly in April, I figured the scale might not tell too much of a difference considering I’m building up muscle again.  I will say I feel like I am never going to be under 200 pounds though, so that is a little discouraging for me.  I feel like I’ve hit somewhat of a plateau, but I have no one to blame but myself.  I haven’t been sticking to my healthy eating.  I lost count how many times I ordered Papa John’s and Domino’s.  Seriously.  I’m not joking on that part.  I know you are not supposed to beat yourself up over slip-ups or treats, but when you order pizza about every 3 to 4 days, you have a problem.

You know, I have seen an image floating around Pinterest and Instagram that says something along the lines of, “Being healthy is hard.  Being overweight is hard.  Choose your hard.”  I’m trying to remember that.  Because it is true.  Trying to eat well, exercise, it’s not fucking easy.  Especially when you let your mind talk you into things, you know what I mean?  “Oh, I’ll start fresh on Monday, so I can enjoy one more pizza and cookie tonight,”  to that being the excuse multiple times a week.  I basically am saying I have no self-discipline.  None, whatsoever.  I make excuses and the results show.  My logical side, the one that is typing this is clearly seeing that I don’t want to be healthy.  That if I truly cared I would get my fucking shit together.  The other logical side is saying to quit being so hard on myself.  I’m human.  Oh well, such is the never ending merry go round with mind fuckary.  On to the numbers!

April 1, 2018 May 1, 2018 Difference
Weight 207.8 lbs  205.4 lbs ↓ 2.4 lbs
Neck 14 inches  14 inches No Change
Left Arm 16 1/2 inches  16 inches ↓  1/2 inch
Right Arm 17 inches  16 3/4 inches ↓  1/4 inch
Chest 40 inches  40 inches No Change
Waist 37 inches  36 1/2 inches 1/2 inch
Hips 46 inches  45 inches ↓  1 inch
Left Thigh 27 1/4 inches 27 inches ↓  1/4 inch
Right Thigh 27 1/4 inches  27 inches ↓  1/4 inch
Left Calf 18 1/4 inches  18 inches 1/4 inch
Right Calf 18 1/4 inches 18 inches 1/4 inch

So, as you can see, this is where I am at.  One more time for my negative mindset in the back, a loss is still a loss!  This puts me at a total of 37.2 lbs down from the start of my journey.

This month, I am going to switch it up a bit.  I have no goals for this month.  NoneNada.  Zip.  Zilch.  Why?  Well, I have not hit a single fucking goal in months.  Clearly, setting goals means jack shit to me and when I don’t hit a goal, I feel like utter shit.  Like, an absolute failure, like I want to beat the shit out of myself and quit.  Yes, it triggers severe anger and I don’t need that!  I don’t need to make it that deep!!  Progress is progress dammit!  Anyone that’s on a fitness/health journey feel me on that??

Well, I think that does it for me.  Lillith says hello, btw.  She’s nudging me while typing.  Oh!  Anyone else a huge Potterhead?!  I’ve become massively addicted to playing the new Harry Potter game, Hogwarts Mystery.  Oh my God, I’m playing it right now, well, waiting for my energy to restore to play.  Well, I would love to hear about any successes or setbacks you have had this past month.  Leave them in the comments!  Thanks for stopping by and until next time!

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