Bad Mental Week Ends In Sickness.

So, I haven’t posted on here nor any social media platforms.  My mental health has unfortunately been shot this whole week and to top it all off, I got extremely sick last night.  I will say, my eating hasn’t been terrible, which I am happy about.  I ordered Domino’s last night, ate half of it then, and the other half today.  Other than that, I have been within my caloric daily goal.  So even with as much mental anguish I’ve dealt with this past week, I didn’t fully give up on my eating.

Working out, however, different story.  The only day I have worked out this week was Monday.  I’m hoping health wise I’ll be good to go for Monday and can get back on track, but getting out of bed every morning was a huge struggle this past week.  Unfortunately, work has been the cause of some of it, but not all.

Being so off track of working out worries me because I am not ready for the half marathon coming up in June.  I really want to be able to do this half marathon and prove to myself I am not a complete failure at life.  It actually does more than just worry me, it frustrates me.  I just feel like I haven’t accomplished anything, literally anything.  I have not stuck with a good eating routine, nor workout routine.  I can’t stop ordering out, and after I order out and eat it, I deal with such self-hatred.  I literally have not accomplished one thing on my list.  Not one.  It makes me feel like such a failure and joke.  That I will never amount to anything, that I am worthless, stupid, fat, ugly, and will always be that way.  I am not here looking for sympathy, this is just the ugly side of severe depression.

Right now, besides the wonderful depression and self-hatred, I am dealing with severe body pain, a fever, chills, and my head is killing me.  I already deal with Fibromyalgia, yeah me, so the pain associated with the sickness just makes it that much better.

I’m not going to apologize for saying what I am feeling, again, not looking for sympathy either.  I just need to write it all out and somehow deal.  Hopefully, this shit will blow over soon and I can get out of my self-pity/self-hatred slump and I don’t know.  Go back to the regular scheduled programming?  Who knows.  Goodnight everyone.

February Workout Routine


Doing this whole fitness journey, thing, working out has been a vital part.  However, I don’t know about you, but when I have had a workout routine set in place or at least for a guideline I have had better success in working out.  So for the month of February, I have decided to share my workout schedule/plan.

If you don’t know, I am signed up for the Seattle Rock ‘N Roll Half Marathon in June, so my ass needs to be in shape for that 13.1-mile run.  I have been switching up my cardio with the elliptical and damn.  That machine is amazing.  However, I am not positive how my running is going.  So, this week I am going to be alternating cardio.  Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays are going to be elliptical days.  Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays are going to be working on the Couch to 5k plan.  Tomorrow I am going back to the Couch to 5k plan, so I’ll be able to reevaluate what week I am on.

In Friday’s post, I mentioned my goals of doing Yoga 2 times a week and strength training at least 2 times a week.  For yoga, I am just going to pick a video from Yoga with Adriene.  Strength training I would like to work on using my own body weight.  Some key areas for that I will be emphasizing on are my arms (no upper body strength people) as well as legs and booty.  I have definitely been utilizing Pinterest on my strength training workouts, but some basics will include push-ups, squats, and lunges.  Do you have any suggestions for workouts to add to my regimen?

Well, I think that will do it for me today.  What is your workout plan or guide for the month?  What fitness goals do you have for the month?  Let me know in the comments!  I hope you have had a spectacular Monday and I will talk to you again real soon!

Mon. Tues. Wed. Thurs. Fri. Sat. Sun.
CARDIO E 30min C25K E 30min C25K E 30min C25K REST
YOGA 20min 20min 20min REST
S.T. 20min 20min 20min REST


February Check-In

Well, here we are again, the beginning of the month and another check-in.  I definitely had a more successful month than the past couple.  The last recorded weigh-in was November 1st, which was 223.8 pounds.  November and December were completely dud months for me, with no weight loss.  Although no weight gain either.  Well, ladies and gentlemen, it is official.  I am below 220lbs!


That is a loss of 4.8 pounds, which I am a little disappointed in, just a little, just because the scale didn’t give me an additional .2 lbs, I mean really scale, couldn’t round it to 5 pounds loss??  🤣 🤣 🤣 Haha  In all seriousness, I am pleased with the loss, however, I know I can do better.  There is always room for improvement.  My total overall weight loss since starting this journey is 23.6 pounds which also means I have officially lost over 20 pounds, another HUGE victory!

November 1, 2017 February 1, 2018 Difference
Weight 223.8 lbs 219.0 lbs ↓ 4.8lbs
Neck 14 12 inches 14 12 inches  Same
Left Arm 16 34 inches 17 14 inches 12 inch
Right Arm 17 14 inches 17 14 inches Same
Chest 43 inches 40 34 inches ↓ 2 14 inches
Waist 37 34 inches 37 12 inches 14 inch
Hips 47 12 inches  46 12 inches ↓ 1 inch
Left Thigh 28 12 inches  28 14 inches 14 inch
Right Thigh 29 inches 28 14 inches 34 inch
Left Calf 19 12 inches 18 12 inches ↓ 1 inch
Right Calf 19 14 inches 18 12 inches 34 inch

Now, if I did my math correctly, I believe this month I lost a total of 5 3/4 inches as well as 4.8 pounds.  Sometimes I know the number on the scale can be underwhelming and disappointing, even though we know it is just a number.  This is also another reason I have been keeping track of my measurements.  It is insane to me that I lost a whole inch in my hips and over 2 inches in my chest (but if I could not completely lose my boobs, I’d appreciate that body lol).

Besides numbers, I’ve been paying attention to how I have been feeling.  I have been using the Elliptical instead of the treadmill (hopefully this doesn’t screw me for the 1/2 Marathon in June) and I have been increasing my time on completeing a mile.  I’m down from a 16 minute mile to a 12 minute mile.  I have been feeling more energized throughout the day and I feel like I am accomplishing something.  I was started to make excuses on the treadmill, not fulling completeing the Couch to 5k program by slowing down.  Sometimes you need to switch out your workout plan and try something new.  I am glad I started using the Elliptical.

Now, with all of that being said, let’s discuss February’s goals!
01. Lose 8 pounds this month.
I know I just discussed that the number on the scale is just a number, but this month I truly want to push myself.  I am aiming for 10 pounds but 8 seems like a good inbetween number of 5 and 10, plus I tend to like even numbers more (like that actually matters Leah, geez).

02. Practice Yoga 2 times a week.
Unfortunately I did not complete the 30 day Yoga guide with Adriene, however yoga is wonderful for the body and mind.  I think 2 times a week is a good, slow number to start out with and hopefully I can stick to.

03. Strength Train!
I have no upper body strenght, like seriously none.  I worked on some of the machines last week.  The leg machines, 70 to 110 pounds easy.  Arms… well, I was lucky if I could do 10 pounds and unfortunately, I am not exaggerating.  For work, I can dead lift a lab in the tub easy.  Past that, nada.  So if I truly want to learn how to rock climb this year, these guns need to be packing!  I am aiming for 2 times a week, just like yoga.

Well, I think that does it here from me.  How did your January go?  I’ve seen a lot of great successes on Instagram this past month!  What are your goals for February?  I hope everyone has a great weekend!  Until next time!

What’s In My Fridge & Pantry?

I don’t know about you, but I love looking into others fridge and pantry. I’m always intrigued by what people stock up on. The purpose of this post is to showcase my lovely fridge and pantry because for the month of February I am vowing not to spend any money on grocery items. The goal for this is to learn to be creative and come up with meal ideas with what I currently have on hand. Also, spoiler alert, I am planning a grocery haul in March for only $100 to last me the entire month. Freebies will include the spices I have, however other than that, $100 will go to an entire month worth of food. More information on that in a later post, back to this post.

After I am done showcasing my hull, I am going to make an Excel document and do an inventory of my food. With that, I am hoping to use the document to plan out and brainstorm meal ideas. Looking at all of my pictures, I really need to add more vegetables in my life haha. Well, enough chit chat, onto the pictures!

So as you can see, there are plenty of options available to me for the next month, probably too many. They key is to use my noggin in order to come up with meal ideas. I jotted everything down in a spreadsheet, so hopefully having something to look at quickly will help me come up with meals. If you have any ideas for my food items, let me know! Well, I think that does it here from me! Until next time!

My Weight Watcher’s Story.

In my Battle of the Diets post, I mentioned briefly my time on Weight Watchers.  Tonight, I have decided to go a little further in depth about my time on Weight Watchers as well as why I will never go back to WW.  PS: I am just going to abbreviate it to save time.

beforepicture001I started WW when I was about 20 years old or so and weighed around 224 pounds.  This picture to the left doesn’t really show how large I was, but unfortunately it is the only one I can find.  I was living with a friend who was also overweight and was looking to lose weight.  Together we decided to start WW and join a local gym.  We used the app to help keep track of our points and our exercise.  It was fairly easy to follow and track points.  Of course, back then the internet was not as quick as it is now, but there wasn’t too much issues plugging in our meals.  My friend did most of the cooking, measuring, counting, all of that tedious work because at the time I had no clue how to cook.  Scrambled eggs with cheese was my specialty as well as cereal.  I know, real Rachael Ray in the making… not lol.  For lunches, most of the time we picked up microwaveable meals from Smart Ones, Healthy Choice, and Lean Cuisine.  Most of them also already had to points on the box, which was another wonderful convenience.  Over the span of 6 to 7 months, I went from 224 pounds to about 165 pounds.

Here is where it starts to go downhill.  Although I maintained the weight loss for a good while, I want to say about 2 to 3 years, I learned absolutely nothing from it.  Is that WW’s fault?  Absolutely not.  I allowed myself not to learn anything from that experience.  I didn’t learn how to portion control, I did not address my mental health issues, I definitely didn’t learn how to cook, I just knew that I could heat something up in the microwave and boom, dinner was served.  I quit WW’s because I lost weight, although I still was not at my ideal weight, I was lighter and thought I didn’t need it anymore.

After a wrist injury that left me unable to perform my job, I started emotional eating and the weight started piling back on.  I reached my original highest weight and tacked on an additional 20 pounds.  When I started this fitness journey, 242.6 pounds was officially the highest weight I have ever recalled being.

So after all of that, the fact that I did achieve success with WW’s, why have I decided to not use the service again?  For one, it costs money.  I would rather spend the money I’d be paying to use that service towards my gym membership or workout clothes and shoes.  Another is that I use MyFitnessPal (not sponsored), which is a free app, and it guesstimates how many calories a day I should be eating to lose about 2 pounds a week, let’s me scan foods, calculate recipes, and etc. all for free.  WW’s is an absolutely wonderful tool and I am grateful for the time I used it.  However, I no longer need it because what I am doing is working for me.  I am learning how to cook for myself, portion control, exercise, and I am figuring out how to properly take care of me.  It’s a beautiful thing.  I hope you found this post somewhat interesting.  If you have used WW’s in the past or are currently using it, let me know how it went or how it is going!  I love hearing other success stories as well as tribulation stories.  Until next time!

Recipe Adaptation: Salisbury Steak

Growing up in the south, beef was a major staple in my everyday diet.  The older I’ve become, the more I would switch out beef with turkey.  Throughout the years I have been vegetarian and vegan without fully committing.  All I kept getting was meat substitutes and when you are young and living on a tight budget, it is not exactly the best financial decision.  Nowadays with so many affordable substitutes and experimentations, vegan and vegetarian options are flourishing like never before.  One of my biggest setbacks was finding an inexpensive substitution of ground meat.  In the last couple of months, I discovered TVP, also known as Textured Vegetable Protein, and halle-fucking-lujah it is a wonderful substitution!


Looking at vegetarian or vegan ground meat substitutes, I’ve seen them from $3.99 to $6.99 for one pound of substitute.  I located the TVP quite easily in my local Fred Meyer in the bulk food section and it was a whopping $2.79 per pound.  Here is the other kicker, you only need about 1 cup of the dehydrated granules to make one pound of ground meat substitute.  Essentially that one pound of TVP granules will make plenty of ground meat substitute, cheaper than actual ground meat and standard ground meat substitutes.

With all that being said, I have been craving Salisbury Steak with gravy like nobodies business.  I tried finding a TVP Salisbury Steak recipe on Pinterest but unfortunately came out empty handed.  So without giving up, I thought I would improvise and hopefully adapt a meat recipe into a vegan one.  With a quick swipe of the keyboard in my search engine, Ree Drummond’s Salisbury Steak Recipe popped up and you bet your ass I would trust her recipe!  Now, not to toot my own horn or anything, but I would say the adaptation was a success.  I do still have a bit of tweaking to do, but overall I was extremely pleased with how the recipe came out.  Below is the list of ingredients, the bold and red colored ingredients are my alteration to the recipe.  Again, this is not my recipe, just my adaptation of it.


Meat Mixture:

  • 1 1/2 cups dehydrate textured vegetable protein
  • 1/2 cup seasoned breadcrumbs
  • 1 tablespoon barbeque sauce
  • 2 teaspoons dry mustard powder
  • 4 dashes liquid smoke
  • 1 cube vegetable bouillon, crumbled (or powdered vegetable base)
  • Salt and pepper
  • 1 tablespoon vegan butter
  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • 1 1/2 cups of vegetable broth
  • 1 tablespoon ground flaxseed
  • 3 tablespoons of water


  • 1 whole onion, halved and thinly sliced (or diced if you prefer)
  • 2 cups vegetable broth, more if needed for thinning
  • 1 tablespoon barbeque sauce
  • 4 dashes liquid smoke
  • 1 teaspoon cornstarch, optional
  • Salt and pepper

I followed the directions posted along with the recipe, which I will link again right here, just switching it up to incorporate my additions.  For example, I rehydrated the textured vegetable protein with the 1 1/2 cups of vegetable broth and let the sit for about 10 minutes before continuing on with the recipe.  I also added one flax egg to the mixture to help everything combine.  When I originally attempted this recipe the “meat” mixture did not stick together and cook properly when turning them into patties so I added in a flax egg and got much better results.


Overall, I was super pleased with how it came out.  Next time I won’t add as much salt and for the gravy, I think a little less broth to make it a tad bit thicker would be best.  I also would like to alter some things to make it a little less in calories per serving, possibly taking out the use of the butter and lightly spraying with coconut oil instead.  So with this recipe I ended up making 4 patties and plugging everything into MyFitnessPal each serving, which is one patty, came out to 252 calories with 22.8 grams of carbs, 8.2 grams of fat, and 20.5 grams of protein.  I served mine with a little bit of the gravy and some white rice.  If I do end up altering this recipe further, I will definitely keep you updated!

If you are vegetarian or vegan, what are some meat dishes that you miss that you have made vegan, or want to make vegan?  Also, I would love to find more blogs to follow that have great vegan recipes, so if you know of any please let me know in the comment section!  Well, I think that is all for tonight, hope you have a great night and I will talk to you again soon!